My sister just celebrated her 1 year marriage anniversary and Ben & I are celebrating our 5th anniversary Friday! I’m so grateful for such an awesome husband and have loved all of our adventures of the last 5 years! I put the following advice together when my sister got married (I know I think I have a problem with unsolicited advice ;). What is your advice for a good marriage and good relationships? I’d love to hear!
10 Commandments/Advice for Marriage
By Teyanna Munyan
1) Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t say it meanly. Content communicate – don’t make your spouse guess, if you want a romantic date for your birthday just say so. Don’t be sarcastic or hurtful, once something is said it is not easily forgotten.
2) “Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” It is your job to look out for each other and help each other be happy. You now need to maximize your joint happiness not just your individual happiness. If you are maximizing your joint happiness, your spouse’s happiness matters as much as your own.
3) Plan ahead together. Many stressful situations can be avoided by planning together. Plan so you both know when that vacation is you need to take work off for, the weeknight date you planned, when the home teachers or in-laws are coming over, how much that major purchase cost and how it will be paid for, when you are having children, etc.
4) Manage money so your money doesn’t manage you. A) Make it a priority to have a $1000+ emergency fund. B) When you plan your monthly budget, make sure you each get an allowance – money you can spend however you want – be it 1% of your income, $10, or whatever you can afford. C) Pay yourself each month – ie save and invest so that your money makes money for you so that one day you will be financially free. “Financial peace isn’t the acquisition of stuff. It’s learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You can’t win until you do this.” –Dave Ramsey, http://www.daveramsey.com/new/baby-steps/
5) Never talk bad about or complain about your spouse to others. Never.
6) Support your spouse. If they had a bad day, try to cheer them up. If they need to work really hard for a while to accomplish a goal, try and do more housework to give them extra time and space. If someone talks bad about them, stick up for them.
7) Always be honest. Unless you are planning a surprise .
8) Show your spouse you love them in various ways. Say I love you often. Kiss often. Write notes/letters for each other. Do acts of service. Give gifts. Talk. Compliment and say thank you. Find out your spouse’s “love language”, but it doesn’t hurt to do them all.
9) It’s okay to go to bed angry. Sometimes it’s good to take a timeout or get some sleep before you talk about an issue. Being hungry or tired can make you more emotional. Just make sure you take care of the issue after the timeout or after some sleep.
10) Love is work. Make sure you work for your marriage every day.